Locals open their hearts, homes

Jane Matthews | For the Tidings

Lucy and Daryn McLennan with their children, (from left) Evan, Abby, C.J. (in his mother’s arms), Nate, Mariah and Tori.

Adoption is still relatively rare in the United States. Only 2 to 4 percent of families adopt, according to the Adoption History Project at the University of Oregon. But in Ashland, anecdotal evidence suggests the percentage may be substantially higher.

"There are a lot of adoptive families in Ashland. For such a small town it is amazing how many families have adopted here," said Lisa Smith, who has been a foster parent and has adopted six children.

Smith is pleased at the growing acceptance of adoption and adoptive children.

"Years ago, there was discrimination toward adopted kids," she said, crediting adoptive families, advocates, and programs like the Heart Gallery with an increase in adoption awareness. "These days people seem to have a better understanding of older adopted children and those in foster care," said Smith.

Jannet Mickey and her husband Scott have adopted two of their three children and are considering doing foster care in the future. A few years after their first son was born, the couple decided they were ready to adopt.

"We knew we wanted more children and we had a lot of love to give. We wanted to make a difference in the life of a child," Mickey said.

They adopted an infant boy, and a few years later, a 3-year-old girl.

The Mickeys have become adoption advocates, speaking at local adoption training sessions and working with the DHS and the Heart Gallery organizers to encourage local adoption and foster parenting.

"We thought about adopting internationally, but we were moved by how many children were waiting here in the U.S. Plus, adopting through the state was much more affordable since all the costs are covered," said Mickey.

Though they don't regret their decision, Mickey says adoption through the state is not for the faint of heart.

"It takes a lot of time and commitment just to get through the home study process, the trainings, paperwork, and home inspections," she said.

Still, she appreciates the thoroughness.

"I think it is so important that the state is looking out for the safety and welfare of our children. In fact, my friends who have also adopted and I often say how great it would be if all parents had to go through a certification process to have children," she said.

Having adopted both an infant and an older child, Mickey says there are challenges with any child, but people need to be sensitive to the special needs of toddlers and older children.

"These children have been separated from their birth parents, many have been through several foster homes," Mickey said.

Lisa Smith agrees.

The Mickey family on vacation near Lake Tahoe. The family requested not to have the children’s names with the photo. Tyler Porterfield | For the Tidings

"These kids aren't damaged, they're traumatized. With love and commitment, they can come around and be happy children," Smith said.

Lucy McLennan and her husband Daryn have six children, four of whom they adopted.

"Adoption is wonderful," she said. For people considering adopting an older child, McLennan advises flexibility. "We tend to try to make these children adapt to our world, but in reality when we choose to adopt a toddler or older child we need to adapt to their world. We have to let children grow and bloom in their own little world, and then we can adapt to that."

"Don't go into it without educating yourself." McLennan said. At the same time, she emphasizes that adoptive parents are never alone in the process. "There are good people, therapists, and agencies who will lead you and help you. They don't want the children to suffer a broken attachment, so they are there for you," she said.

"If you are considering adoption to help your family grow," Mickey advises, "I would say don't be afraid, but also know your limits. Know the level of special needs you and your family feel you can handle, or for that matter, the number of children."

At the same time, said Mickey, "Don't get hung up on a diagnosis. It is important to educate yourself and know the resources to help your child, but it is also so important to remember that a stable, loving home can make a huge difference."